It is an unfortunate truth that when it comes to planning a wedding not everyone has your best interest at heart. As a wedding photographer currently in the process of planning my own wedding the phenomena of "wedding tax" has time and time again reared its ugly head, often in the most unexpected and unpleasant of ways. For those of you unaware of exactly what "wedding tax" entails it is when you find yourself paying significantly over the odds for a service or product simply because it is for your wedding.
I encountered it just yesterday, naming no names I was looking at a potential caterer for our day and happen to notice that they also offer catering for conferences. Feeling a bit naughty I sent them an email from an old account asking for their corporate menu with prices and, what a surprise, the menu was identical but the cost was almost 40% less across the board.
Often the wedding tax is not so obvious with fees hidden away in the small print. Stories have reached my ears of venues charging outrageous corkage charges (£25 a bottle plus VAT is my current record) or mysterious 'administration fees' that rack up to hundreds of pounds, none of which were made overly clear up front. All that said though, there is no doubt the most dangerous thing to anyone's wedding budget is if you chose a venue which contractually oblige you to use a list of "approved" suppliers.
Now, before we go any further it is only fair that I explain why some venues insist not unreasonably on a specific supplier and it simply comes down to assurances of quality. If a supplier, especially caterers, do a poor job then it reflects very badly on the venue. After all, guests will remember the day for how poor the food was and associate that with venue not the caterer, so by insisting you use their 'approved' supplier the venue remove that risk.
However, where this seriously falls down is because it removes any competitive market pressure from your choice. If you have to use an "approved" supplier, and there is only one or two of them, then they can charge what they like and there is nothing you can do about it. It effectively ties your hands and you can forget trying to negotiate. To further muddy the water there is the small matter of kick backs, bungs, bribes, insensitive payments or whatever else you want to call them paid from the supplier back to the venue. As Linus Moran points out here this is a very grey area of dubious honesty which puts a huge and unfair burden on the bride and groom.
So what can you do to avoid it? Short answer: it depends. If you have your heart set on a venue and they have "approved" suppliers then really your are stuck with it. However if you have the freedom to shop around then make sure you use it as there are no shortage of options out there for you. Also it is worth asking the question before you confirm with a venue as to how much freedom you have when choosing your suppliers and if their "approved" suppliers pay any sort of commission back to them. It is also important to be aware that there is a difference between "approved" and "recommended" suppliers. Often "recommended" suppliers are just those that the venue are happy to vouch for from past experience and receive no commission fees.
I have perhaps painted a negative picture here which is not representative of the entire industry, there are plenty of great venues out there who's main concern is that you have a wonderful day. Please, make sure you take the time to find them.
As a wedding photographer I have been privileged to be a part of many celebrations of all sizes and types. Often I have been with the bride and groom from the early planning stages and seen the day take shape and it is interesting that some lessons stand out time and time again. What I have tried to do below is bring some of these experiences together, I should point out that this is by no means an exhaustive list of wedding 'do's and don'ts' but I hope that these 10 hints, tips and ideas to help plan your wedding day prove to be useful.
1. Too much choice is a dangerous thing.
When you start planning your day it can be utterly overwhelming. You need to consider the budget, dates, venues, flowers, dresses, rings, food, place settings and countless more options, not to mention the tough decision of exactly who you are going to invite. Take a moment to get organised at the start and it will be a whole lot easier. Set up a dedicated email address just for your wedding enquiries so you don't lose responses amongst your personal mail. Also a lot of free email systems, like the excellent Gmail, have filing and labelling systems so you can sort the emails from florists and venues away but keep them accessible. Be cautious of any web sites (or people for that matter) offering a free planning service as they will invariably push those suppliers who pay the highest commission to them rather than the best value to you.
2. Don't be afraid to look into booking mid week.
More and more couples are now looking to tie the knot on a week day because of the tremendous cost savings, for example a local wedding venue near me charges £6000 plus £50 a head for the meal Friday through Sunday but only £2000 and £20 a head Monday through Thursday. The savings don't stop there, many wedding car companies, florists and photographers also operate mid week discounts (you can see ours here) The biggest objection to this tends to be a worry about guests having to take time off work but often this isn't a problem as you can usually give people over a years notice to keep the day free.
3. Be careful with 'all inclusive' packages.
There are many venues out there that offer 'all in' deals for stress free weddings and these can be genuinely great value for money. However, do take the time to delve a bit deeper as horror stories have reached my ears that often things weren't quite as good as they first seem. Examples of this include venues charging £10 a bottle 'chilling' fee on top of corkage (by chilling I don't mean refrigerated, I mean put in the beer cellar for an evening), charging extra for parking spaces, and charging wedding guests nearly double for a room compared to their standard price. It doesn't stop there, one package included a photographer but no images or albums, if you wanted a disk it was £1,200 extra. Make sure you take the time to read the small print and ask questions before you hand over a deposit.
4. Think carefully about guest numbers.
I know that the list of guests can seemingly grow unendingly as you actually sit down and work out who to invite but be careful that you don't over do it. I say this simply because weddings that are too large can leave the bride and groom exhausted as they spend the day trying to say 'hello' to everyone and end up seeing very little of each other. Of course, the day is yours to invite whomever you would like but try to remember to set some time aside for each other.
5. Personalize the room decorations.
Many hotels lead a dual life, being conference and meeting venues Monday to Friday and then wedding venues at the weekend. This can lead to them looking a little flat and tired when it comes to your wedding day, however the weddings that have always stood out to me are those where the family have put in a little time in the morning to give it the personal touch. Often family members will take greater care and give greater attention to the details than staff members and this really shows. Of course, I am sure the morning before your wedding will be quite busy enough but if you can ask someone to take care of it for you then all the better.
6. Be a little more adventurous with the food.
Organising a meal for 80 or so people can be tough and it is tempting to take the safe option in a bid to keep everyone happy. That said I have been to several weddings where the bride and groom have taken a gamble with the food and it has paid off tremendously. The most notable of these was an Indian banquet repleat with popadoms and Tiger beer which went over fantastically well with the guests who were expecting the usual roast chicken. Of course, you don't have to be quite so extreme but consider lamb or beef as an option.
7. Consider when you would prefer the speeches.
There are no hard and fast rules that say if the speeches should be before or after the Wedding Breakfast and both options have their merits. The main advantage of having the speeches before your breakfast is that it takes the pressure off those who are speaking, especially if they are not the most natural at talking in public, so they can then relax and enjoy the meal afterwards. However, in my experience speeches after the wedding breakfast are usually much better received by the guests who are now well fed and usually had a drink or two in the process.
8.Put it in writing.
When you book your service providers make sure anything that you discuss, including special arrangements or deals, is written in the contract. People can't remember promises they made to you a year ago verbally, so make sure all the details are clearly written in the agreement.
9. Have a problem solver to hand who you can rely on.
Weddings are fantastically complicated events, the day can rely on dozens of people from florists to caterers and as such it is prudent to expect something to go awry. As a bride or groom you don't want your wedding day to be taken up with having to chase people, instead make sure there is someone to hand who you can rely on to get things sorted. Be it a friend or a mother-in-law having someone there to whom you can turn and say 'please take care of this for me' takes the pressure off you and leaves you free to relax and enjoy your day. Also you can help prevent a lot of problems if you….
10. Meet as many suppliers as possible prior to booking.
It can take time but making the effort to meet your florist, driver, photographer and master of ceremonies before you book is invaluable. It gives you a chance to make a judgement about their reliability and, just as importantly, how well you can get along with them. After all a photographer will be with you for a large portion of the day, you need to make sure they are someone you would want to be with.
Well, I hope all the ideas and information above help. If you think there is anything I missed why not write a comment below and let us know!
Photography by Adrian Spencer of Will Hey Wedding Photography, a professional wedding photographer based in the High Peak near Buxton and Stockport and covering Derbyshire, Cheshire, Manchester and Sheffield.
